(R)evolution

I feel like I've been going about the concept of my "revolution" all wrong. It will now be known as a (r)evoltution. a combination of the following two words.....


Evolution - A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form.


Revolution - A sudden or momentous change in a situation



I've been trying too hard to commit daily to my blogging, which in turn has led to almost no commitment. Classic Joy...as in, if I feel like I "have" to do something, I am less likely to do it. I guess that's my unconscious inner rebellion. Also, forcing it has led to something completely unacceptable in my opinion.....boring, literal prose. Oh, the horror!!


So, here's the gist of what I was trying to convey......I am trying to jump start a chain reaction of evolution in myself. To be a healthier, smarter, kinder, more adventurous, better person. Not because I'm NOT already those things but because I am capable of being "more". I have been accused of thinking I am better than others and that is not necessarily true. I do, however, think I have my shit together more than some. I do think I am a better human being than some others. I will admit to that. I could get into all the hows and whys of it but I'll save that for another blog.


Still, I don't claim to be a perfect person. I have some hella faults. And I've done some misguided, fucked up things in my life but I think I have bettered myself with age and maturity. That's the normal process, right? Yet, I still don't get it right all the time. That's why it's called a process and it's never ending. Life is ambiguous. I'm not a big fan of black and white....you can't always separate humanity into those 2 shades. I struggled with that in the beginning of my journey but I realized that I don't have to be a "perfect" person to be a "good" person. Takes the pressure off, let me tell ya. I mean, there are fundamental basics, of course...kindness, honesty, morality......but I realized that I don't have to give up things like my sarcasm, my potty mouth and that little bit of darkness that I (like everyone) carry inside. The goal is to be better, not unrecognizable.


Anyway, to make a long story short....there are things I want to change. I have been living a boring, unimaginative life. I've been comfortable and I've been content but I haven't felt like I've been really living or reaching my full potntial. I feel like there is so much more I could be doing and feeling....physically and spiritually. I've felt like myself but also in a way, not like myself. As if there's another, better version of me strolling on the path ahead and I'm just now realizing that I need to catch up to her. I'm finding out new things about myself that are thrilling and make me happy.New interests, new talents and new ways of thinking. I still have a lot of work to do but that's half the fun...learning, discovering and changing.


I can't wait to meet my future self. =)






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